Risotto, Repatterning, and Finding Joy on My First Bikepacking Trip

On both-and

“But how can I be both nervous *and* excited?” asked bird.

“It sounds,” replied bear softly, “like things are about to get really interesting.”

📷: The Juggler spinning with @russell.jackson.507

…

Complete the sentence: “It turns out that ______.”

For me: It turns out that raccoons can growl, Good To-Go mushroom risotto is heavenly … and you can be both nervous + excited at the same time.

I finished my first solo bikepacking trip a couple weeks ago. And it was awesome.

Yet, on the drive to the trailhead, I felt a growing knot in my stomach. My heart was beating fast. And I realized I was white knuckling the steering wheel.

Recognize you’re feeling something.

“Mark,” I said out loud, “You’re *really* nervous, aren’t you?”

Name what you’re feeling.

“It makes sense that you’d be nervous. You’ve never done this before.”

Validate your feeling and offer yourself compassion.

“Could you also be excited?” I asked myself.

Get curious and ask questions.

Nervous on the inbreath.
Excited on the outbreath.

30 minutes later, my shadow was surfing on river swirls and eddies as I pedaled alongside the Deschutes, my Trek Procaliber outfitted with amazing Revelate Designs bags and joy.

Emotional patterning goes d-e-e-p, doesn’t it? Often that undercurrent of feeling lives unnamed, running on autopilot—silently spiking cortisol, rapid-firing neurotransmitters, an ancient rhythm of fight-or-flight in effect.

And repatterning isn’t easy, is it? Making the unconscious conscious. Accepting what is while inviting change takes work:

“Hmm, I feel something.”
“Hey! What’s going on in there?”
“Oh, hi, I know you. You’re that feeling I’ve felt ever since I was kid.”
“Can you tell me a little about yourself?”
“It’s good to meet you.”
“Thanks for all your help.”
“I think I’ve got it from here.”

On my first morning out, I unzipped my Six Moon Designs Lunar Solo tent to discover a sea of wild grass stretching as far as I could see, each blade tipped in frost, a million diamonds sparkling at dawn.

Excited on the inbreath.
Excited on the outbreath.

Where you can you check in today to get curious about some feeling you might be having?