French Fries, Loss, and Being Kind to Your Heart

On change

“But why does it have to be so hard?” asked rabbit.

“Because it is not what you wanted,” explained fox. “And navigating the difference between what is and what you imagined would be is never easy.”

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When I was a kid, I used to think I could change the world in the blink of an eye.

I would close my eyes slowly, picture what I wanted sitting in front of me, and then peek out.

No matter how hard I tried, however, the french fries never appeared.

As an adult, I’ve learned that the world changes trillions of times in the same blink of an eye.

And often those changes are not what you wanted, and definitely nothing you would have ever wished for.

Often, they are quite the opposite.

You can work hard. You can give everything you have. You can dream big.

Yet, in the blink of an eye, life reminds you that nothing is promised and we are in control of precious little.

Heartbreak. Loss. Pain. Suffering.

In the blink of an eye, everything you thought “was” is no more, and you realize the only thing you ever have had any real control over is how you show up to yourself. And even that is precarious at times.

So, lock yourself in a padded box, close your eyes even tighter against hope and dreams and wishes and wants and love?

Pretend there is someone or something out there that is already fully formed like those imaginary french fries; that won’t require you respond and shift and evolve and change yourself a thousand times over?

In the hardest times, it can feel like these are the best solutions, doesn’t it?

I would suggest, however, the trick (which is no trick at all) is keeping your eyes open to see - and feel - it all.

Not what you want? Lean in even harder. Not what you wished for? Double down on vulnerability. Feeling spun out? Open your heart even wider.

Will this make unchosen change easier? Maybe. Probably not. Unlikely.

Will it keep you focused on what really matters (psst, honoring yourself and the safety of your precious heart)? Yes. Absolutely.

Carry on, friends, carry on! Surrounding you with love and compassion and hope.

What’s one nice thing you can say to your heart today?