Beginning Again + Again + Again

Mobile: One of These Things (22" x 20")

On beginnings

“But I won’t be any good,” cried bird.

“You’re probably right,” replied mouse, “but why would you expect to be?”

Thoughts while making

“You’ll want to lean in with your whole body,” he explained. “Not so far that you fall over, of course,” he continued, “but if you do, just get back up and try again.”

It was the first day of my Introduction to Pottery course. And, if I wasn’t already nervous enough, the instructor’s words did-not-help.

“What does he mean by lean in,” I thought, “with my whole body?” The question a hinting sprinkle of the storm to come.

“How will I know what is enough? Too much?” The sky turning darker, panic starting to numb my fingers.

At the words “fall over,” I pictured myself literally sprawled out on the floor, covered in clay, the pottery wheel laughing at how bad this one was, at how bad I was.

Full admission: I’ve never liked being “bad.” At anything. It’s kept me from interests and activities I imagine I would really enjoy; experiences I’ve dreamt about. Can you relate?

Here I was again realizing I wasn’t good at another thing, and the old familiars circled around: fear, embarrassment, inadequacy, shame. 

Ara is fond of the saying, “You can’t know what you don’t know,” as an invitation to reframe good-bad right out of the picture and welcome in your beginner’s mind.

Recently, my counselor added, “You forgot you knew what you knew,” highlighting how easy it can be to displace our guiding values as we meet new, different, or challenging moments.

For me, these values include curiosity, creativity, kindness, courage, and love. How different that first class – that first anything – would feel if we replace the go-to emotion with the core underlying value.

What’s one thing you’d like to begin (or begin again)?

Perhaps a place where fear or doubt has stopped you in the past?