Bartleby, Herman, and Starving the What ifs

Stabile: Popparodapus

On choice 

“Is it really okay,” asked bear, “to say no?” 

“Of course,” replied bird, “unless you’d rather say yes.” 

Thoughts while making

Complete the statement: “I’d prefer not to _______.”

Have you heard the story of “Bartleby, the Scrivener”? Next to Moby-Dick, it’s considered one of Herman Melville’s greatest works.

In earlier times, a scrivener was someone who “made their living by copying written material.” Copying. Recording. Transcribing. Over and over again.

In the story, Bartleby decides he’s no longer going to do this kind of work. When asked by his boss to do a task, Bartleby replies, “I would prefer not to.”

Bartleby doesn’t explain why. He doesn’t share a reason or offer a justification. He just keeps repeating, “I would prefer not to.”

My therapist reminded me of the story this week. I’d been sharing how I get hooked by these repetitive internal conversations, unflattering “what if” mind chatter that rarely works in my favor.

These What Ifs are often filled with looping real-time reactive stories guided by doubt, fear, anxiousness, defensiveness, lack, worry, and such.

Often only semi-conscious, they gather momentum—taking on a life of their own, where I end up internalizing + embodying the tales I’ve created.

“What if, rather than feed them,” my counselor asked, “you responded by saying, ‘I’d prefer not to ______.”

…replay that unhelpful soundtrack.

…get hooked by those unfavorable what ifs.

…spend time repeating fictions that don’t serve my best interest.

This week, I’ve cut many of these stories short. Seeing firsthand that saying “I’d prefer not to _____” opens up space; if not for what I *would* prefer to, at least the absence of the negative. It’s been a gift.

How would you complete the statement: “I’d prefer not to _______.”?